The magnet
Last modified: February 2017
Special thanks to @Holyverz for this wonderful piece of art
Once upon a time, there was a kid named Holyverz. His computer was his life. When his friends tried to separate him from his love by saying terrible things like "Come on lets go play!", Holyverz would slap them and steal their lunch money. People learned not to fuck with Holyverz.
One day, he found out his computer had a magnet on the lid. At first he thought it was funny, and oh he laughed, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD!". But then his bestest of friends Cowy said, "Wait, isn't your hard disk right under that magnet?"
At that moment Holyverz' heart started racing, what if the magnet ruined his computer -- his life??? His gaze hardened as he ordered Cowy to fetch him a small-as-fuck screwdriver for laptops. That magnet was going to hand over all of it's lunch money, no one fucked with Holyverz and ate lunch on the same day.
Cowy soon returned with the tiny-ass screwdriver, passing it off to Holyverz. He expertly flipped it in the air, ready for the task ahead. He pulled out an axe and pulled it above his head, unleashing a mighty battlecry, "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAALOLOLOLOLLOOLLOOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!" He swung down with all his might towards the magnet, "WOOOSH!" "CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!" The laptop had dodged the attack, and the table was split in half!
In his rage, Holyverz savagely threw his laptop across the room, and it got scared shitless and dropped the magnet. Holyverz picked it up, stole it's lunch money and slapped it across the face. He gingerly picked up his computer and got back to doing what he loved.
No one ever fucked with Holyverz again.
THE END