Red Tape

Original writing: October 2019
Last modified: October 2019

Albert sits at his desk staring at a picture of beer. The picture shows a silver-white can with a gold brand – the can is sitting on grass and leaning against a basket of red apples. Albert smiles sadly. He’s buddies with the photographer. Thinking of his friend, he looks back at his desk to try and find him. He’s not there. Albert sighs. Turning back to his desk – his attention is caught by the renovations in a nearby hallway.

The hallway has red strips of plastic crisscrossing all over it – not unlike the red detection lasers in spy movies. At the end of the hallway lies a vault door. Albert eyes light up.

“What a place to put the company’s servers... Well hello...” Albert sees his colleague Jessica walking towards him with some papers under her arm. “What is it Jess? Did Big Brother send you down here to torture me?” Jessica smiles. “I’m already dying, you know.”

“I know. Unfortunately for me, our torture sessions will end sooner than expected.”

“What? Can’t handle a poor, simple, dying employee?” Albert smiles. “Come on Jess, don’t give up!” Jessica walks over to Albert and places her hand on his round belly, smiling menacingly.

“Trust me Albert, I’m not giving up.” Albert flinches as Jessica pokes his stomach with her nail. “Tell me Albert, do you remember our night out last week?” Albert’s eyebrows furrow. “When we met that nice woman from management?”

“Debbie? Yes, of course, she fell behind on the recent company news and wanted a quick run-down of what she missed.” Albert raises an eyebrow. “But there’s no ‘we’. Last I checked, this kind of stuff is ‘below your pay grade’.” Jessica backs up, a light shining in her eyes.

“You see Albert, the difference between me and you is that I help people in need, while you spill company secrets to reporters!” Albert's eyes widen in shock.

“Debbie... isn’t from management...?”

“That’s right,” Jessica gloats. “She isn’t. The whole conversation was recorded through your smart watch and sent to our servers. As soon as I report this incident, you’re done.” Albert gulps. He looks over Jessica’s shoulder towards the vault door.

“So...” Albert takes a moment to swallow again before whispering, “...what do you want from me?” Jessica’s smile widens as she starts sifting through her papers.

“What do I want? I just want you to suffer, honey.” She holds out a calendar to Albert. He looks at it, but doesn’t reach out to take it. “Come on,” she coaxes him, “I wrote your tasks on half of this month’s sheet. You still have 2 weeks left.” Jessica just drops the calendar on the floor. “I wanted to make sure I’d have the time to watch you cry before you go.”

Albert shifts his gaze down, his shoulders slump. His left eye starts twitching until a tear escapes it. His voice broken, he asks “How? How did that happen?” Jessica doesn’t answer, she just looks down on Albert in contempt. “Did Big Brother set me up?” Jessica crosses her arms. Albert wipes the tear from his face with the back of his hand. Voice barely stable, he says “He must have. Big Brother is so smart, it could only have been him.” Jessica’s contempt is replaced with outrage.

“Big Brother?? You think BIG BROTHER did this? *I* did this! Big Brother is nothing but a simple-minded fool.” Jessica starts pacing. She mocks with heavy disgust in her voice: “All he cares about is ‘customer satisfaction’ and ‘building trust’. MONEY! MONEY IS ALL THAT MATTERS! I get rid of you, and by the end of this year, you can believe that I get rid of Big Brother too! You have no idea what I have planned for --”

Albert is laughing. He tries to hold it in, but it keeps just barely escaping his lungs. Jessica’s face of pure confusion bursts him out in total heaves of laughter, so intense that he drops himself on the floor and rolls around laughing uncontrollably.

Jessica’s expression turns into one of controlled anger. “Albert, I still have that recording. It’s right there in that vault behind me.” Albert keeps laughing and rolling around on the floor. “You’re not getting out of this, Albert. Big Brother will be out for your blood.” Albert stops mid-roll, breathing hard and smiling.

“Well you can let him know I’m O+!” Albert’s hearty laughter kicks off again as he keeps rolling around on the floor. Jessica’s face becomes murder. She kicks the calendar towards Albert and points at it, voice shaking.

“Your days are numbered, Albert. Stop pretending like you don’t care.”

Albert slowly stops rolling, calms his laughter and stands up, clearing his throat. “Look, Jessica. I’m dying. I really don’t care about any of what you’re doing. Big Brother, on the other hand... If he hears what my smart watch just recorded from you...” The blood drains from Jessica’s face.

“Albert no, please don’t -” Albert silences her with a hand gesture.

“Get into that vault - destroy everything my smart watch recorded. I keep working here, hang out with my photographer buddy. Everything I’ve done to you in the past, we forget. Sound good?” Jessica stares silently at Albert for a moment. She looks down and nods.

“I don’t have much choice, do I?” Albert watches her in silence. Jessica sighs, and turns to look at the crisscrossing plastic blocking the vault. “Look at all that red tape I need to go through to get into the vault. Whatever artist thought this was a good idea is an idiot.” Albert chuckles as Jessica throws him a sideways glance. She slowly makes her way towards the vault, ducking under a first horizontal strip of red tape.

Albert watches her as she makes steady progress. He can’t help but smile.